DanielKBrantley.com

Somebody's Gonna Hit Paydirt!

2009-09-01T16:47:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to let all you aspiring, inspired writers out there know that if you've got the right skills, you can pick up some serious cash. Check out this job available at a freelance site:

I am currently seeking a writer who can write 10 articles that are based on a specific pet related topic (details only provided privately). Articles will be in the 400-500 word range.
Topic keywords will be provided for each article. This is an opportunity for recurring assignments.
Note: All articles will be checked for plagerism! Articles need to be original content.

Requirements:
--Ability to write quality articles (strong English grammar skills) that "flow" well is the most important requirement.
--Ability to meet deadline (5 days to complete 10 articles)
--Ability to research on the topic using various sources yet produce original well written content

Please include in your application:

(1) a discussion of why you feel you are a good choice for this position
(2) an example piece of your writing

My budget for this project is $30

Yep, you can pickup 30 cold ones, and all you have to do is write between 4,000 and 5,000 words.

And you thought waiting tables was good money!

Home For Sale

2009-08-05T12:29:00.003-05:00

No, we're not moving. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are. Great house in a great neighborhood in Rossville, Georgia. Killer views, nice layout, etc.

If interested, click here.

A Return to Fantasy

2009-08-01T07:21:00.002-05:00

Years ago, I had a story published in a publication called Hadrosaur Tales. A few months ago, I tried to reread the story. Unfortunately, I couldn't make it all the way through it. It was a relatively interesting concept, but the writing wasn't all that great.

That doesn't come as much of a surprise. To this day, I have a hard time reading something that has gone to print. There are always wording and punctuation decisions I would change, so I prefer not to read my stuff after it goes to press.

Anyway, I recently regained the desire to write some wacky science fiction/fantasy and was thrilled with the possibility of publishing the story in Hadrosaur Tales (now Tales of the Talisman). So if you by chance subscribe to Tales, keep an eye out for a return to fantasy by yours truly.

If you don't subscribe, it is definitely worth checking out, if for no other reason than to expand your idea of what can happen in life.

Wordless Wednesday: Inner Fish

2009-07-08T17:51:00.001-05:00

Question for Soddy-Daisy Folks

2009-07-04T13:41:00.002-05:00

I'm running over to Soddy-Daisy tomorrow to see my dad and go fishing, and I have a quick question. Is it safe to eat fish out of Soddy Lake? Feel free to post your answer here or e-mail it to daniel@danielkbrantley.com.

Thanks...

If It Ain't FDA, It Ain't Nothing

2009-06-10T12:39:00.005-05:00

I know the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has its flaws. How could it not? It consists of human beings. On top of that, it's a government institution. So the FDA has two strikes against it before it ever steps up to the plate. But it has its purpose and place in the world.

In my world, one of the FDA's most important roles is approval or disapproval of medications and the like. Which brings us to the point. If someone is trying to sell you a product--be it a new-and-improved prescription medication, an herb from ancient China that has healed the world since being discovered, or a vitamin C/vitamin D hybrid--and it's not approved by the FDA, stay away.

Without FDA approval, there is no guarantee that what is on the label is what you're going to get. There is no guarantee that the energy-boosting pill you're taking is going to give you energy and not diarrhea. And don't think that every dangerous item that gets sniffed out gets taken out of the market place. Far from it. Just look at those little boxes of cigarettes behind the counter.

Wordless Wednesday: Brick (by the) House

2009-05-27T20:08:00.003-05:00

And a second view.

Medical Tests Unnecessary?

2009-05-26T14:56:00.005-05:00

A long time ago (two or three years ago), I was honored to attend a conference by the National Institutes of Health. The conference was titled "Medicine n the Media: The Challenge of Reporting on Medical Research." Afterward, I was filled with vinegar and venom, ready to take on the world. Actually, I blogged about it fairly soon after returning home, alluding to the mysteries they revealed without going into any of the specifics.

Recently, I decided to finally put some of the information to practical use - an ebook. Yep, another ebook. Unlike my first, this one isn't based on my own experience (as wonderful as that is to read about), but rather is a summary of what they taught during the conference. Well, not an overall summary. Just a summary of a couple points that have been gnawing at my brain for more than two years.

Enough with the introduction. If you read nothing else about the medical community in the next few months/years, let this be it. Not that I'm a wonderful writer or came up with anything new. It's just completely against most medical wisdom you come across. To get the gist of the whole thing, look at the chart in the middle of the short little book.

Link: http://www.myebook.com/index.php?option=ebook&id=9366

Hope you find it informative.

An Ebook a Day

2009-05-20T15:59:00.003-05:00

After wondering what the hype over ebooks was all about, I started doing a little research. I soon realized an ebook is little more than a Microsoft Word document tossed into a PDF salad. So I figured I should give it a shot. Why not? Millions of other chaps have done it, and it would be nice to expand my writing horizons by an inch or two.

So I wrote one about my recent employment woes and wonders. It's an impressive 14 pages, but that's with some pretty intense margins and lots of sweet pictures. (Maybe not lots, but at least one every third page.)

I then went about trying to sell it to a few different clients. I failed miserably. So...I opted to toss it online at myebook.com, a neat community that allows you upload ebooks and have the world read them for free. Granted, there is no guarantee the world will read or enjoy the ebook (kind of like this blog). However, compared to other ebook sites, this one seems pretty well run, and they have some really nice looking products, including comic books.

Anyway, my first ebook attempt is located at http://www.myebook.com/index.php?option=ebook&id=9184

If you've got a free minute and want to find out the secret to my wealthy ways, check it out. Or if you want to rip me apart for using free stock photos, you can do that, too. Just be warned - those stock photographs will eat you alive.

Photographic Memory

2009-05-19T15:15:00.002-05:00

Since February, I've been stationed at the Shades of Grey Photography studio in good ol' Cleveland, Tennessee, during the afternoons. It has offered a way to get my writing done without the distractions of two little people pining for my attention. Granted, I'd love to be at home with my nose to the grindstone, but every time I heard one of the kids calling for me or doing something I imagined was unimaginably cute, I had to get up to find out what was going on.

While the office is a much more serene location, it is not without its distractions.

Example A: Middle school students. They may be cute and cuddly, but middle schoolers are also rather noisy and tend to have little if any understanding of the rules that govern public life. (Not littering, keeping foul language to a whisper, etc.)

Example B: Random people. While the studio isn't set up to be a walk-in kind of place, it does have a fair share of stragglers who wonder in. One of the most memorable was a young woman who needed photos for a contest in Knoxville. The contest was for the sexiest woman who just had a baby. She would be wearing lingerie in the photos, and she pulled her shirt up enough to show off her belly as proof that she didn't even have stretch marks.

Example C: Us. When all else fails, Robert and I tend to distract each other enough to keep us from getting much of anything done. Thankfully, there are usually more than enough middle schoolers and lingerie-wearing new moms out there to keep us from having to distract each other. Unfortunately, today wasn't one of those days. And that strawberry banana milkshake I got from the Shake Shack is breaking my stomach.

Classes and Classes

2009-05-13T14:00:00.002-05:00

The school year winding down, administration met with the senior class for a debriefing. What did they enjoy about their time at Tennessee Christian Preparatory School? What should be changed?

Whereas the extent of my commentary in 12th grade would have been, "No more geometry" or "Give me a better grade in Spanish," these young adults blew my minds. They'd digested what the school has to offer and provided some invaluable insight into where they felt the school should go. I was impressed at their attentiveness, their willingness to share, and their understanding that as a small school, we have limits. Not having a lot of time to socialize with this year's seniors, I was thankful to break bread with them and watch their brains in action.

On another class issue, I should be teaching journalism next year. It's been a few years since I've been in the classroom, but with such an awesome subject and great students, I'm anxious to get started.

So here's to this year's graduates, as I await the 2009-2010 school year.

Behind Closed Doors

2009-05-12T12:53:00.005-05:00

Over the past few months, I've been blessed to pick up a second full-time freelance client. It's a change from much of my freelance writing, but it is a welcome change, one that allows me to grow myself, my writing, and my research skills. How much growth has taken place? Consider this: The first piece I did for this client took a total of around eight hours to complete. When it's only 500 words and requires no interviews, eight hours is an insanely long time.

Thankfully, it paid off. The client really liked the first article, which resulted in consistent work for pretty good pay. Now all I have to do is keep up the quality and quantity and the relationship should remain solid. But there's something eating at me, slowly but steadily. I have no clue what these articles are actually for, whether a magazine, newsletter, newspaper, website or the client's personal satisfaction.

Yes, the client gave me some vague idea of where they're going, but he wasn't too keen on giving me information. Whatever he's storing these little nuggets for is a new project he's working on, and it seems he's afraid someone else will take his idea. Kind of strange to be working so far in the dark as I have, but when you're getting paid it's hard to complain.

Besides, when else will I have a chance to write a story about Robert Penn Warren?

Quote of the Work

2009-03-21T15:18:00.001-05:00

"An absolutely necessary part of a writer's equipment, almost as necessary as talent, is the ability to stand up under punishment, both the punishment the world hands out and the punishment he inflicts upon himself." - Irwin Shaw

Days Like This

2009-03-05T15:05:00.002-05:00

Ahhh...'tis in the 60s, the sun's shining strong, and the fishing report says there should be some serious action tonight.

Days like this make me want to do something with my body that involves soaking up some free vitamin D.

Maybe next time.

The New Space

2009-02-16T09:08:00.002-05:00

In a strange accumulation of God's goodness, I have found a new space to do my freelance writing. Far from the hustle and bustle of the house, I am now stationed at Shades of Grey's Cleveland, TN location.

It's a perfect situation and I am eternally grateful to Rob for giving me the space. Essentially, I sit here and write and man the station, talking to potential clients who come in.

Good stuff...

Heath Ledger Is Amazing

2008-12-12T09:15:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I waited until the new Batman was out of theaters and in my local video store to watch it. And I was not disappointed. Good story, fun action scenes, creepy villains.

Oh yeah, there's also that Heath Ledger guy in it. He was awesome. Unfortunately, not so awesome that I voted him in for every big movie award known to man. After all the hype, I suppose it's impossible for Ledger's performance to have met the expectations, so I don't hold it against the guy. He was just doing his job and some folks became sentimental and went a bit overboard.

But the movie is good. The whole thing. Every actor. Every actress. Even the dialogue. Not like the campy Batman flicks of my youth, but thoughtful.

So if you've yet to see the new Batman, get to it. You won't get to stare at a beautiful Heath Ledger (too much makeup) or even hear his regular voice (he sounds rather maniacal), but there is a lot of movie to enjoy.

The Ultimate Country Christmas

2008-12-05T14:24:00.004-05:00

There is nothing better than the sights, tastes and excitement of the holiday season. If you can’t wait to get the good times rolling, a short stroll up Interstate 24 will get you in the holiday spirit. With more square footage than any other resort on the planet (possibly the galaxy), Gaylord Opryland Resort makes it possible to bring in the holidays without going bankrupt. Unless you’re set on it. Then there’s enough shopping around to put you well into the hole.

Wondering what it offers for you and yours? Read on to find out.

Food
He says: Amazing. Simply amazing. From the buffet breakfast with more options than could possibly be taken advantage of to the incredible dinner entrées, every meal is A) exciting and B) memorable. With their team of renowned chefs, cheese and wine pros and pastry creators, finding a bad meal inside the confines of the resort is as likely as looking up and not seeing a Christmas ornament.

She says: If you’re in the mood for a family style dinner consisting of a variety of Christmas season comfort foods, then get your tickets to The Louise Mandrell Joy to the World Christmas Dinner and Show. The menu was designed by Gaylord Opryland Executive Chef Michael Swann, who worked with Mandrell to create a delicious meal made of Mandrell’s holiday favorites. And what better after-dinner entertainment can you find than the talented Christian country singer and performer Louise Mandrell and her band as they lead you on a joyful Christmas journey around the world. By the time it’s all said and done, you feel like part of Mandrell’s family. And it’s a pretty good family to belong to.

He says: And we can’t forget the green eggs and ham. That’s right. If you visit on a weekend, ask about having breakfast with the Grinch and chowing down on green eggs and ham. The idea of green eggs wasn’t too appealing to me, but plenty of other people dug in.

ICE!
He says: Any time there are 1.5 million pounds of ice to look at, it’s going to be impressive. If the ice is colored and carved into various characters from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, it’s magical. That is exactly what ICE! is. Before entering, you’re given a parka, which seemed like little more than a thick raincoat. Granted, you’re walking through a nine-degree ice sculpture exhibit, so even the thickest coat will only cut the cold so much.

There’s also an ice slide to slide down. While the exhibit is a bit short for the price, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so take it while you can. As this marks the final year for the Grinch to be found in ICE!, this is also your last time to chill with the Grinch.

She says: I have never seen anything like ICE! in my life. It is definitely a one-of-a-kind exhibit. It was fascinating to see the animated creatures from Dr. Seuss’ beloved Christmas story intricately carved out of colorful blocks of solid ice! It is a sight both kids and adults can enjoy for sure. Just when you think the exhibit of How the Grinch Stole Christmas is over, you’re in for a nice surprise in the last section. It is a dazzling, sparkling, larger-than-life Nativity scene made out of solid clear ice. It was easily my favorite part of the exhibit.

Radio City Christmas Spectacular
She says: It was exciting to see the world-famous Rockettes in their holiday show, which has been entertaining captive audiences for the past 76 years! It was a non-stop production filled with dancing, singing, beautiful costumes and amazing scenery. The Rockettes were extremely talented, with every move synchronized with each other. After seeing former Rockettes perform on movies like Annie, it was fun to see them in person.

He says: They kick, they dance, they sing – and they do it all flawlessly. ‘Tis a rare event to see so many people move as a single unit, and the Rockettes did it from start to finish. I didn’t think I’d enjoy the show too much, but once it started, I couldn’t wipe the goofy grin off my face. If you’ve seen the Rockettes, you realize there’s nothing like them. If you’ve never seen them or it’s been a few years, they’ll be on stage through the holidays in Nashville. Don’t miss your chance.

Gingerbread Houses
He says: One of the cool things Gaylord Opryland offers this year are classes to learn how to make awesome gingerbread houses. No, mine wasn’t awesome, but at least it didn’t fall apart.

She says: That’s not nice.

He says: Sorry. But it didn’t. And I didn’t say yours did. For anyone planning to attend the gingerbread class or make a gingerbread house at home, a word of advice: Don’t weigh your roof down with heavy candies or Frosted Mini-Wheats. More than likely, the rest of your house won’t be able to handle the weight. But if you go to Opryland, the fine folks there will be kind enough to help you rebuild time and again.

Spa

She says: What better way to pamper yourself this holiday season than to relax at Tennessee’s largest spa located at the Gaylord Opryland Resort? Relâche offers guests an opportunity to enjoy a time of peace and renewal during this stressful time of year. This full-service spa was definitely a haven of relaxation for me. I highly recommend the organic cranberry pomegranate facial.

He says: After spending a while attempting to pronounce the spa (we figured it was a hip way to spell “relax”), we got down to business. This holiday season, they’re offering a holiday special, which includes a facial, body scrub and pedicure. If you’re like me and tend to kick if your feet are touched, skip the pedicure.

Fuse

He says: All my life, I’ve avoided dance clubs, and now I know why. I can’t dance. But it was fun watching people bust a move. Gaylord Opryland recently opened Fuse, and the club is marketed as a Las Vegas club experience. Never been to Vegas, so I can’t compare, but I was uncomfortable enough to know I was in a dance environment. However, everyone else seemed comfortable moving and grooving in public – including the guy with his leg hiked up on a handrail to stretch before hitting the dance floor – so I had plenty of entertainment.

She says: If you love music and dancing, Fuse is a great place to go. So grab your friends, a drink and an appetizer and dance the night away!

Get more about Gaylord Opryland Resort’s Country Christmas at GaylordHotels.com. Special thanks to the fine folks at Gaylord Opryland who treated us to the finest weekend of dining, wining, entertaining and lodging we have ever experienced during the Christmas season.

Published at Chattanoogan.com.

Wordless Wednesday: Cactus Blossom

2008-12-03T09:37:00.004-05:00

I've noticed a few people post pictures on Wednesday, declaring their posts "Wordless Wednesday." If this is relegated to a select few, please correct my misstep. Otherwise, I may do it again. Only without the words.

On Being a Christian and Writer

2008-12-01T09:00:00.002-05:00

Over the Thanksgiving break I did some much-needed reading. No, I didn’t pick up a novel or book of poetry. I read William Zinsser’s On Writing Well.

After 50 pages, I wondered how I’d written for so long without going back and reading and rereading how-to books. There are simple things I’d forgotten about writing. One is that writing isn’t always simple. Another is that I need to bleed for what I write. My critical eye has been closed in favor of mass production. It was demanded at my first full-time writing job, and I’ve held onto that mentality. How do I get over it? Read. And write. And read what I write, forcing myself to bench a story if it isn’t a grand slam. Or as Zinsser says, “Notice the decisions that other writers make in their choice of words and be finicky about the ones that you select from the vast supply. The race in writing is not to the swift but to the original.”

Inside Zinsser’s book was something else to think about. He said essentially, writing is all about ego. Which is true. If you don’t think you can write, you’re not going to do it for a living. You may write 5,000 words a day, but you’ll never make money at it. Because you'll never think it deserves to be published. So what is the Christian to do with this ego-driven occupation?

Pray. Pray for a quick mind. Pray for equally fast fingers. Pray for humility. And remember that while putting together sentences in a meaningful sequence is a wonderful ability, it is not earned or deserved. It is a gift.

Cool Down: The Polite Bad Review

2008-11-29T20:10:00.004-05:00

Every once in a while, I'll receive a CD to review that I really don't want. While I typically shy away from reviews that will hurt an artist's career, I'm not always able to do so.

One of these problematic CDs came my way this week, courtesy of Southeast Performer. I've not written anything for them in a while, so I gave them the green light to send something my way. As soon as I popped the disc in, I knew what I would be up against: give it a real review or be nice and shelve my feelings.

Well, I had to go the hard route. The band may like me if I give a sweet review, but it would be a lie. For a writer, there are few things worse than risking your integrity to make someone happy.

For a person, I believe the same holds true.

So there will be a few guys who wish someone else had received their music to review. Does it really matter what I say? It's just my opinion and plenty of other people have been digging their music. Besides, if they're doing it for the critics, they won't survive long anyway.

Cool Down: From Typing To Writing

2008-11-20T23:35:00.004-05:00

It’s 11:18 p.m. For me, a parent of two, it’s late. Really late. So why am I still up? Just as important—why am I writing? Is it because I can finally think in the quiet of the night? Or is it that I don’t have to think?

The TV is finally turned off and I’m left with my thoughts. Unfortunately, it seems there are few thoughts there. But that doesn’t keep me from typing. There’s something inside of me that screams, “WRITE!”--so I write.

While on the couch tonight for two hours, I loathed myself. I watched shows about tattoo artists changing people’s bodies. The artists were the essence of punk rock and were given amazing opportunities. They drove race cars, designed shoes for Vans, had their logos put on Ludwig drum sets. I want to do that. I want to do something huge. But to do it, I’ve got to write.
So I remind myself over and over: You are a writer. I realize I’m talking in third person, make the quick switch.

I am a writer.

So why am I wasting my time in front of the tube? There are hundreds of thousands of words to write, and I’m suckling the glass teat. (Props to Rob Sievert for that tag.)

Well, at least I have something to write about now. Because if there’s anything worth writing about, it’s the fact that I need to write. Making it even more necessary is the fact that if I don’t write—and if I don’t write well—I don’t eat. During the time I spent watching TV or sitting around doing nothing, I could have finished up a month’s worth of articles for a client. I could have created 10 killer pitches. I could have gone to bed.

And trust me. I want to go to bed. I just can’t right now. The need to write hasn’t hit me this hard in a long time. Yes, I do write every day, but it’s not always out of love for the craft. It’s out of duty. If I don’t write, I get so far behind I’ll never catch up. Sometimes, it’s embarrassing to admit, I even have to force myself to write.

Just a few years ago, I would have killed to pay bills with writing. Now I have to force myself to pound the keys. Not now. Now I’m so mad at myself all I can do is type. But I don’t want to just type. I want to write. There is a great short story somewhere inside that needs to get out. I will write it. There’s a novel that I started years ago that will get finished. And it will get published. And I will not pay to publish it. Someone will pay me for the manuscript. And while the next book may be impossible to start and finish, I’ll know I can do it. So I will. And then one day, I will have to force myself to write novels, too.

Then I’ll have another late night. It will be 11:28 p.m. and I won’t be able to go to bed. I may try to, but it won’t do any good. I’ll stare at the ceiling, wishing I had a notepad beside my bed to jot down a few ideas. But those ideas won’t be enough. I’ll need a keyboard in front me because I type 4 million times faster than I write and my handwriting hasn’t been legible for decades. And when I’m done writing whatever it is I have to write—whether a sonnet, a short story, or an essay about my need to write—I’ll breathe in. And the air will feel fresher and more airish than it has for years. And then I’ll go to sleep. I will still struggle between sleep and writing, but I will be content knowing the desire is still there, and it will be back again.

Warm Up: Valet Parking

2008-11-20T09:43:00.002-05:00

Just came back from a trip to Nashville. We stayed in an incredible resort, but there was one problem: our valet guy didn't know how to drive a stick shift.

How does someone get a job as a valet without this skill? Good question. Unfortunately, I've yet to come across a good answer. Hopefully I'll be able to get someone to bite on my pitch and I'll be able to find out.

Otherwise, I'll be left with a nagging question that seems to have no logical answer. A valet unable to drive a stick seems akin to a chef being unable to use a gas stove. Sure, most stoves are electric (well, at least in homes), but there are quite a few homes that boast gas grills.

This is not to say that stick shifts reign the driving world. This is to say they exist.

You believe automobiles with manual transmissions exist? Good! So do valet drivers--and some shutter.

Comic Creations

2008-11-19T09:21:00.002-05:00

Donning a burly beard and a hooded sweatshirt, the 6-foot, 4-inch, 230-pound Skottie Young looks like one of his own creations. From the day he came to Bristol, Young was known as the kid who carried a sketchbook in his hand, creating new superheroes and villains, or recreating classic ones with the stroke of a pencil.

Five years ago, Young turned his passion into a full-time job and began penciling, inking and coloring for comics giant Marvel. A 1996 Tennessee High graduate, Young took his first job and a sizable step into the art world when he was only 15. That’s when his art teacher recommended him for a job drawing advertisement signs for 13 area Big Lots stores. With his own office and a nonstop supply of markers, Young drew copies of the same sign, over and over, for all 13 Big Lots – a task he enjoyed immensely at the time.

“I was a slave,” Young said laughing. “I look back and say, ‘Why didn’t they tell me to draw it once and then take it to Kinko’s or something?’”

Following high school graduation, Young began working a second job. During the day, he waited tables at Chaco’s and at night, he penned signs at Big Lots. Little more than a year later, Young packed his art supplies and returned to his native Chicago. While readjusting to life in the windy city, Young bought his first computer. He got connected to the Internet and started a Web site with other artists to promote all of their art.

Then, Young’s big break came. Attending his first comic book convention, Young put his portfolio in front of the right person. The rest, as they say, is history.

“Sometimes I tell people I wish the story was more romantic,” he said. “I drew a lot – I did that part, but as far as really knocking on the door of the comic book industry? I didn’t even know where the door was to go knocking. I feel like I had a little bit of luck mixed with a little bit of skill, and over the years I’ve tried to get better at the skill part.”

Since starting with Marvel, his skill has indeed increased. He’s drawn Spider-Man, Venom and his favorite project, a reincarnated version of New Warriors. Unfortunately, Bristol’s favorite comic artist has a hard time making his way back to visit due to the demands of his job. Every time he makes it to town, he insists it’s a breath of fresh air.

“When you’re living in Bristol, you don’t ever think it’s pretty,” he said. “Going back there to visit, with the roaming hills and mountains, you realize it’s actually kind of beautiful.”

A TIP FROM THE PRO
As he makes his way through various comic conventions, Tennessee High graduate Skottie Young comes in contact with hundreds of aspiring artists who want to find out how to become the next big thing in comics. When asked how to tell whether a young artist has what it takes, Young said, “The best ones that I see understand anatomy, they understand structure of the body, they understand perspective, they understand depth of field and they understand storytelling.”

In other words, if you want to find yourself in Young’s shoes, pay attention in art class and practice.

YOU SHOULD KNOW: To find out more about Skottie Young or to contact him, visit www.skottieyoung.com. Young’s work is on stands at Mountain Empire Comics in Bristol and Johnson City, and other shops.

Published in the Bristol Herald-Courier.

Colour Revolt: Rock Stars in Schoolboy Clothing

2008-11-19T09:18:00.003-05:00

Forget Jack Black and his elementary School of Rock. This is the real deal. Welcome to Lessons in Musical Success, presented by the five guys who make up the Oxford, MS, sensation known as Colour Revolt. So grab a seat and keep a pen and plenty of paper handy. Class is in session.

Lesson One: Musical Voice
If you had met the boys of Colour Revolt during high school, you would have never guessed they’d find their way into their current mold. At the time, they were called Fletcher, played “math rock with melody” and listened to a lot of Foo Fighters and Nirvana. Soon after, they hit the music store with a mission.

There, they bulked up their musical knowledge and record collections with old Dylan, Neutral Milk Motel and other far-ranging musical acts. The only limitation to their expanding horizons was their local record stores’ offerings. As a result, their musical tastes changed, and it became apparent that it was time to move to new ground with their own creativity.

“The whole musical world opened up to us,” explains guitarist Jimmy Cajoleas, when asked about their self-directed musical education, “and we wanted to write music that reflected more of who we are.”

That reflection is more difficult to define than their early material as Fletcher. Colour Revolt is slower and doesn’t change tempo as erratically as Fletcher. There is also a newfound darkness that seeps through Colour Revolt. Pinning them down into one genre is nearly impossible. Hence why they describe their sound as “rock,” and let everyone else make judgment calls.

Lesson Two: Hit the Books and Move On
Currently, the majority of Colour Revolt’s schooling takes place in the classroom. All but one member are seniors at the University of Mississippi (drummer Len Clark has already graduated), and each member’s goals are basically the same. Following graduation, Cajoleas, Clark, Jesse Coppenbarger (vocals and guitar), Sean Kirkpatrick (guitar) and Drew Mellon (bass) plan to put their various degrees on the shelf. They’ll then do what every college graduate wants to do.

“I’m an English major. I read books and go talk about them,” Cajoleas explains. “It’s pretty fun, but I’m looking forward to making the band a full-time thing, and it should happen soon.”

Lesson Three: Keep the Balls in the Air
Soon is Spring 2007. At that time, they’ll all be finished hitting the books and will start hitting the road. Until then, they’ve got a lot to balance. Like full loads at school. Cooking and cleaning for a sorority house on campus. Girlfriends for some. And the band. They toured with Brand New during the summer, had their debut EP redistributed by Tiny Evil and placed in numerous Hot Topic stores, practice three times every week for four hours at a time and play shows every chance they get.

As unlikely as it may seem, the balance hasn’t proven too tough.

“We play shows all weekend and I have three papers due next week. You know, I’ll get them done. It’s not that bad,” Cajoleas says over a laugh. And then adds, “I don’t sleep.”

Lesson Four: Depend on Friends
The Colour Revolt boys are quick to admit they’re not solely responsible for maintaining the balance. They give much of the credit to their manager and long-time friend, Palmer Houchins.

“Palmer just takes things over, and he kind of took over booking for our band and did a great job. He turned out to be really competent. He’s one year older than me,” the 21-year old Cajoleas says. “He has no real idea what he’s doing, but he’s doing a fantastic job. I have so much respect for that.”

For Colour Revolt, Houchins was the ideal pick for a manager. He got his start in the music world in high school. His efforts in putting on successful all-ages shows in Jackson, MS, made it clear that he and Cajoleas were “kindred spirits.” After a few years of friendship with everyone in the band, Houchins gradually (or suddenly – no one is quite sure how it happened) took over booking.

According to Cajoleas, it was a natural development. Because the relationship began as friendship, there was no need for a written contract or job description. Houchins simply does what needs to be done. He bleeds Colour Revolt, loves the guys in the band and wants to help out. He works for nearly nothing and as the band picks up steam, he grows in expertise, taking on added responsibilities. During his tenure, Houchins has booked shows, talked to press people and haggled with representatives at Tiny Evil over the details concerning the redistribution of the band’s self-titled EP. If it weren’t for Houchins, it’s doubtful that the self-admitted poor communicators in Colour Revolt would be gaining national attention and playing venues as far away as Portland, Oregon.

Lesson Five: Get a Technique
However, as most bands know, being creative can be trying. Regarding their writing process, Cajoleas is blunt. “[Songwriting] is one of the most irritating things in the world.”

Irritating? They spend hours on end jamming on a single riff. For a non-jam band, it doesn’t get much more painful. But it’s how Colour Revolt has always operated as a unit. One member (typically Coppenbarger or Kirkpatrick) brings a part to practice. It may be a string of notes; it’s occasionally only two. The band then tinkers with different keys and time signatures until it “feels right.” Once that point has been reached, they move on to the next part. Thanks to this painstaking process, it’s not easy for a Colour Revolt song to come to complete fruition. No wonder Cajoleas won’t say when they expect to have enough material for a full-length album.

Lesson Six: Smell the Flowers
Despite the frustrations of penning songs at a slow pace, Colour Revolt is careful to enjoy the scenery in all circumstances. They love Mississippi, live for the next show and shake their head in disbelief when they talk about working with sought-after producers Matt Goldman and Clay Jones.

Beyond their undying admiration for the ordinary and extraordinary, the band has a unique perspective and understanding of their position as musicians. They don’t expect everyone to get – or like – what they’re doing. When someone does happen to pay attention and seem interested in the music they produce, they’re thrilled.

“You write a song. It’s your heart, what you sincerely think and feel,” Cajoleas says. “To expect people to love that? It’s beyond arrogant. It’s always an act of faith and courtesy for your listener to give you the time of day. No one ever deserves that. You don’t ever want to forget that if people listen to you, it’s a blessing.”

Lesson Seven: Avoid the Celebrity Slump
Sure, getting a record deal would be great. A solid one would make it unnecessary for the members of Colour Revolt to look for real jobs when they’re done with school. However, moderate success that pays the bills and allows for an occasional splurge would be enough to content Cajoleas. For those seeking limelight and fame, Cajoleas offers these final words of wisdom.

“I want to do Colour Revolt for a living, but I don’t want to hobnob with celebrities,” Cajoleas admits. “It just makes you weird and affected and makes you write bad pop songs. It’s what history has shown. People who hang out with celebrities always write bad songs.”

Class dismissed.

Published in Southeast Performer.

Into the Underground Scene?

2008-11-19T09:14:00.002-05:00

Caving may not be the most popular sport around, but caving enthusiasts are fine with that. To be frank, they’re quite glad about the relative anonymity of their sport, which protects their beloved hidden places from damage.

Taking his first caving trip accidentally in 1960 at the age of 12, Bruce Smith was immediately hooked. Now the proud owner of On Rope 1, Inc., in Harrison, Tenn., Smith is consulted by practically everyone making a movie or writing a book concerning caving.

“I joined an Explorer Group because I wanted to get into sailing. The first meeting we put the boats away, and I was told they go caving in the winter. My first reaction was, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’” he recalls with a laugh nearly 40 years later. “But I never did go sailing.”

Heather Garland’s story is similar. A biologist working for the Tennessee chapter of The Nature Conservancy, Garland began her career surveying her first loves—frogs, toads, and salamanders. However, when a grant was received to hire someone to study caves full time, she jumped at the chance.

“I was at the right place at the right time,” she says, while gathering rocks on the side of a highway in Rutherford County, Tenn. “I began learning as much as I could about caves—what lives in them and how the ecosystem of caves works. It was learning by necessity, but I was already interested in caves, so learning more about them was fun.”

DISCOVERING CAVES
Caving almost every weekend since the early 1980s, Alan Cressler, technician with the U.S. Geological Survey, has been in more than 3,500 caves across the globe. From warm Puerto Rican caves to the deepest cave in the world located near the Black Sea, Cressler caves for personal satisfaction and regularly as an assistant for a National Geographic photographer.

Despite having traveled the globe to crawl and rappel into caves, Cressler’s work with the University of Tennessee’s Anthropology Department in Knoxville still gets him excited.

“One of my passions is cave archaeology. As we’re learning, prehistoric humans used caves a lot in the Southeast, so there are always new discoveries to be made,” he explains. “These people walked for miles into caves and used them for shelter, to perform ceremonies, to draw images on the walls, to remove resources, and sometimes just to look around. It’s truly fascinating.”

On Rope 1, Inc., employee Wm Shrewsbury makes his way to a cave two or three times a month. For Shrewsbury, who has traveled as far as Borneo to find a good cave, the most exciting part of caving isn’t discovering why other people used caves. Rather, his biggest thrill is going where no man has gone before.

“When you’re caving, you can feel like you’re completely separated from the rest of the world, but it’s not meant to be a solitary sport,” Shrewsbury says. “Some enjoy mountain biking, others like to climb. For me, I like to cave. It’s just a fun thing to do, and caving with other people makes the experience safer and more fun.”

Garland couldn’t agree more with Cressler and Shrewsbury.

“You think you know it all,” she says, “and then something new pops up.”

The things that have popped up for Garland include nearly a dozen newly discovered species of invertebrates such as millipeds. And no, that’s not a misspelling.

“Cave biologists spell millipede without the final ‘e’. I don’t know why they do it,” Garland admits. “I’ve just been told to spell it that way.”

CAVERS TO THE RESCUE
Along with being avid cavers, Smith, Shrewsbury, and Alison Falinski are all part of the Chattanooga Hamilton County Rescue Service Cave/Cliff Rescue Unit. Most people on the team caved for years, were part of an unorganized cave rescue effort, and wanted the satisfaction of being part of an organization dedicated to helping injured or lost cavers escape the certain death that awaits those trapped underground.

Falinski, however, had never gone caving before being asked to join the Cave/Cliff Rescue Unit eight years ago.

“My husband and I used to whitewater canoe a lot. Beth Elliott, a friend in our Paddling Club, said the Cave/Cliff Rescue Unit needed a medic. Since I was a physician’s assistant, Beth said I would be perfect,” Falinski recalls. “I told Beth I had never been caving, but she didn’t care. She said she would change that.”

And she did. After only one trip, Falinski was in love with caving. Over the years, Falinski has assisted in a number of rescues. And while being called out on a rescue is exciting, everyone on the team is glad the rescue business is slowing down. Much of this is due to cavers being more educated and using higher-quality equipment.

Here are a few reasons the Chattanooga Hamilton County Rescue Service Cave/Cliff Rescue Unit may need to perform a rescue and how potential cavers can avoid needing rescue:
• inability to communicate with others due to loud waterfalls or other natural phenomena, which can be remedied by communicating with hand signals or walkie talkies
• not knowing the way around a cave and getting lost, which can be remedied by becoming familiar with the layout of the cave before entering and referring to a map frequently
• slipping into a pit due to improper footwear, which can be remedied with a good pair of boots and constant precaution
• having poor communication, which can be remedied with clear words such as “stop” and “go” instead of “oh, wait a second, hey, ho,” etc.

SAVING THE CAVES
“Our nation’s caves are very much at risk, because they’re affected by all that happens to the surface above them,” Garland says.

Since caves are practically everywhere you turn in the xRegion (there are more than 8,000 documented in Tennessee alone, more than any other state), you can never let your guard down. Caves get damaged in a variety of ways. Careless cavers may leave trash in a cave or disrupt a cave’s walls, potentially creating a domino effect that will cause increased erosion over time. Small holes that lead into caves may get closed up, causing creatures to be unable to enter caves. As cave-dwelling creatures depend on these holes for food, this can be devastating.

To help preserve caves, a group called the Southeastern Cave Conservancy, Inc. (SCCi), was created. Governed by an elected group of board members, the SCCi’s sole purpose is to buy and conserve caves. If a private landowner wants to keep a cave in his or her own possession, the SCCi will lease the cave from the landowner. By leasing the cave, the SCCi assumes responsibility for protection of the cave and works with landowners who don’t want to sell or donate their caves to the SCCi on liability issues.

Thanks to the SCCi, caves, cavers, and landowners are protected.

What can you do to help save caves? Be responsible.

“Very little water travels through the xRegion without passing through a cave at some time,” emphasizes Garland. “Therefore, everything you do that may tamper with the water supply in your area may ultimately affect cave life. Pollution such as pesticides and sediment can find its way into water traveling through caves, so be very careful what you toss out your window and sprinkle on your grass.”

For more information on the SCCi’s efforts, visit www.SCCi.org or call (615) 585-5277. To learn more about all aspects of caving, visit the National Speleological Society at www.caves.org or call (256) 852-1300.

Published in xplor.

Overcoming the Odds

2008-11-19T09:06:00.002-05:00

Born on April 10, 2000, Sebastian Alonso seemed to be in good shape. He was 19.5 inches long, weighed 3.5 pounds and spent only four hours on a ventilator—pretty impressive for a baby born 11 weeks premature. But that was only the first test for young Sebastian.

Before their son’s inaugural homecoming, new parents Esther Rivera and Carlos Alonso were told Sebastian needed to see a neurologist. During their visit, Sebastian was diagnosed with a severe case of cerebral palsy, a condition that causes difficulty with muscle control. In Sebastian’s case, it would make it nearly impossible to pass key milestones like chewing solid foods and walking.

“A specialist in the community said my son would never be normal,” Esther recalls, “so I never went to him again.”

Instead, the Hialeah resident took Sebastian to a rehabilitation center in Miami, where she eventually learned of a procedure offered at Miami Children’s Hospital that would change Sebastian’s life forever.

MOVING FORWARD
Only a little later than his peers, Sebastian learned to walk using a walker. As he walked, Sebastian’s legs moved in a scissor-like motion, causing his body to droop close to the floor. After a lot of research, encouragement from Sebastian’s physical therapist, and a meeting with Glenn Morrison, MD, pediatric neurosurgeon on staff at Miami Children’s, Esther decided selective dorsal rhizotomy could benefit her 4-year-old son.

“Before I met Dr. Morrison, I was very nervous about the procedure,” Esther admits. “However, the way the doctor explained it and his calm, friendly manner helped me relax, and I realized Sebastian would be in good hands.”

PROCEEDING TO A BETTER LIFE
During selective dorsal rhizotomy, a one- to two-inch incision is made in the lower back. Through this hole, the surgeon can view the sensory nerve fibers running from the muscles to the spinal cord. Those nerve fibers responsible for creating the muscle tightness are cut, relieving tension in the affected limbs. The incision is then closed with special surgical glue.

“Sebastian was a good candidate to see positive results from the procedure as he didn’t have an excessive amount of spasticity,” says Dr. Morrison. “For maximum benefit, patients have to undergo intense physical therapy afterwards. Sebastian’s mom made sure her son did that, and Sebastian has reaped the benefits as a result.”

A BRIGHT FUTURE
Since undergoing his operation last summer at the ripe age of 4, Sebastian has started walking again—now with proper posture—and has hopes of one day running with his 18-month-old sister, Rebecca, without his walker. He is fluent in Spanish and English, has a love of the arts, attends Miami Springs Elementary and has started eating solid foods.

“There is not a word in the English language to show how grateful I am for the surgery Sebastian underwent,” Esther says. “I want to say ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you,’ to all the staff at Miami Children’s who helped my son. It’s the best thing that could ever have happened to him.

Published in Miami Children's Hospital's Children's Gazette.

The Cost of Consumerism

2008-11-19T09:02:00.003-05:00

A well-dressed man steps up to the counter.

“Can I help you, sir?” asks the young clerk.

“Yes,” starts the customer. “I’ll have a knee replacement and a screening colonoscopy.”

“That’ll be $126,972, sir,” the cashier says. The customer pulls out his credit card and fulfills the transaction for medical care at his community hospital.

Seem a bit unrealistic? While health care hasn’t quite gone the way of retail stores, restaurants, or other service-focused industries, it is taking slow steps in that direction. With the growing availability of information on hospital quality and caregiver performance, it was only a matter of time until patients (or potential patients) use this information to make their healthcare decisions.

“With the advent of high-deductible healthcare plans, patients are more involved in their healthcare decisions than they’ve ever been,” says Gregory M. Snow, MPM, vice-president, revenue cycle at Geisinger Health System in Danville, Pennsylvania, who participated in a ground-breaking study, Consumerism in Health Care. “Because of this development, pricing transparency, quality of care, and service will all grow in importance over the next few years.”

QUALITY IN EFFECT
Gone are the days when a hospital could be marketed without mentioning JCAHO. Now, if you’re going to claim your hospital offers unparalleled cardiac care or makes sure every patient is 100-percent satisfied, you better have the research to prove it. With online resources and the array of accreditation and evaluation agencies, potential patients can scope out your hospital’s track record well before setting foot inside of the physical facility.

To entice patients to take advantage of this new power, the information is free and can be accessed in the comfort of their own homes. While quality information is currently more readily available than pricing, the two will have to merge for a complete picture of all aspects of a patient’s care. As you may have suspected, that day is today.

AVOIDING STICKER SHOCK
Ask any patient in the hospital if he wants to know how much a CT scan costs. He may raise an eyebrow at your question, but he’ll likely say yes. Soon, that same patient won’t only want to know how much a medical procedure costs; he’ll demand it. Of course, you don’t have to disclose the cost—but he also doesn’t have to choose your hospital. That’s the price transparency that consumerism in health care is bringing about.

Consider this if the idea of price transparency makes you a bit queasy. When you walk into a grocery store or outlet mall or log onto an online music service, you know how much your tomatoes, new outfit, and Jennifer Lopez single is going to cost. By making medical costs known upfront, patients are treated as customers, and they’re given the same information they would have access to at any retail store.

“You can sit there and say you’re not going to tell people what procedures cost, but you don’t really have a choice,” warns Snow. “This is going to be implemented in hospitals across the nation within the next two years, and if you’re not onboard, you’re going to lose patients and possibly be unable to keep your hospital financially sound.”

DRAWING THE LINE
The contrast is stark between the old days of medicine and the new ones. Now, patients often do their own research and don’t rely on their caregivers as their only link to medical knowledge. Soon, more hospitals, like those in Geisinger Health System, will begin coupling access to quality information with immediate and relevant pricing information. This leaves healthcare marketers with three aspects to promote: quality, service, and price.

“As consumerism continues to spread and gradually be the norm in the medical world, quality—not price—will rule the equation for consumers,” says Eric Silberman, business development professional at True North Custom Publishing. “When it comes to having blood work done, price may wholly drive the decision. However, when something like vascular surgery enters the picture, my expectation is that consumers won’t care what it costs. It will be the quality of care that is top of mind.”

Published in Custom Publishing Review: Healthcare.

Drugs: An Inside Look

2008-11-19T08:58:00.002-05:00

Sitting off of Hiwassee Street, the 10th Judicial District Drug Task Force complex is a rather unassuming structure. There are no signs or fanfare to let visitors know where they are. No rough and tough guards standing watch outside. Just a fabricated building of no consequence with enough parking for about 25 cars. Surprising for an agency celebrating its 20-year anniversary.

Inside is much the same. Beyond the entry room is a waiting area that doubles as a break room for Drug Task Force agents. Piled in front of a medium-sized television are cases of water and caffeinated drinks—Mountain Dew, Diet Dr. Pepper, Coca-Cola. Against the opposite wall is a large leather couch. In the corner, a small table is surrounded by child-sized chairs painted in primary colors.

In Comes Mike
Everything was typical of a normal office until 6-foot 9-inch Director Mike Hall walked in the room. He’s an imposing figure, and while he considers himself the “softest” cop anyone will ever meet, his size keeps people from knowing it.

“I don’t get many people that try to resist me—especially when I’m in tactical clothing. I’m only 230, 240 pounds.” He said, “I’m not huge when it comes to mass, but when you put all the stuff together and somebody comes up to your chest... It’s funny because it comes with respect. The other way, when you’ve got victims, it makes them feel secure. Being big for me has been a blessing my entire life.”

Unfortunately, having to be intimidating has had its toll. Hall—who is also the praise and worship leader at Mt. Olive Church of God—says working on the Drug Task Force has given him a new perspective on people—one he doesn’t necessarily like. For one, he’s become painfully aware of his surroundings. One could argue he is on the border of paranoia, never sitting with his back to a door, frequently looking over his shoulder and being afraid of being in large crowds when not on duty.

When Hall speaks, one sentence says it all: “I don’t trust people.” It’s how many law enforcement professionals end up. However, Hall says he works hard to try and maintain a sense of humanity and compassion for those around him. He does this by avoiding socialization with fellow law enforcement professionals when he’s not on duty and not dwelling on his work when he’s at home. Hall also finds strength and peace at church.

But maintaining balance isn’t always possible.

Preventing Future Queens
The stress of being on the Drug Task Force recently manifested itself in the actions of now suspended agent Bobby Queen. Hall knew Queen had some serious issues in his personal life, so Hall did what he would do for any of his agents. He told Queen to take some time off. Shortly after Queen’s return, Hall took him for some training in the warm state of Florida. Between training sessions, the two went fishing and relaxed.

Queen told Hall it was the best few days he’d had in a long time.

Then they got home. And Queen took his wife hostage.

“When Queen came home, one more thing mounted above all the other stuff and all that stuff piled together and it was just the perfect storm,” Hall recalled. “He flipped his wig. He lost it. If there’s any case of temporary insanity, he fit it at that point. Talking to him on the phone at that time, he was not the same person I just got back with on a great trip. It happened that fast. No warning, just boom! Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this is happening.”

Despite missing Queen on the Drug Task Force, Hall has realized he has to move forward—for his own good and for the good of those under his charge. “It is what it is. I hate it for him. I hate it for the Task Force,” Hall said. “I didn’t see this one coming down. I hope I don’t see another one coming down. [Queen] didn’t really produce any triggers for that to happen. At the same time, his conscious was so shocked that, who knows? If he wasn’t in law enforcement, if he was just Joe Blow on the street, he could have done the same thing.”

In an effort to help other agents avoid a downfall like Queen, Drug Task Force agents rotate from one team to another. Some work the streets, others Interstate trafficking and still others fight illegal prescription drug use. Hall also keeps an eye on his guys to make sure they’re not showing signs of potential problems. The Task Force doesn’t have an on-call psychologist or counselor, but most agents wouldn’t want to talk with one anyway. But Hall is excited about a new hire to the Interstate section of the Drug Task Force who has a degree in counseling. Hall expects the other agents will trust the new agent and will feel comfortable talking with him.

As strange as it may seem, agents don’t always need to talk about their jobs. In fact, dealing with the roughage of the 10th District isn’t the worst stress of being a member of the Drug Task Force. It’s everything else.

“When you get home, your wife’s like, ‘I thought you were going to be home at dinner.’ You’re like, ‘Well, something came up, I couldn’t be home at dinner.’ And your kids are like, ‘Hey daddy, are you ever going to come home again?’ Then every time a case comes up that you know this is the only time you’re going to be able to do it, you call home and are like, ‘Hey, I’m not going to be able to make it home again.’ You dread the call,” Hall said. “The stress of that phone call for not going home—that’s worse than anything.”

Time To Break
As with any stressful job, joining the Drug Task Force is not a lifetime commitment. According to Hall, it’s not even something people would want to do for more than a few years. It’s too hard on a person.

“You can’t work this job 20 years. Who’d want to?” he asked. “When you’re dealing with drugs, you’re not just dealing with drugs and drug addicts. You’re dealing with everything they deal with. The biggest is pornography. Man, who wants to see that every day? You go into a house and it’s nothing but pornography. It’s just the grime of life. Everything has its toll, but you’re dealing with some of the lowest people in society. [After] 20 years, it affects you. You go home with images in your mind that you can’t get out. Things you didn’t think you’d ever see. Situations you see children in and there’s not that much you can do about it.”

Despite the frustrations of the job, agents of the built-for-stress Drug Task Force carry on to ensure the safety and well-being of every resident of Bradley County, Cleveland and the rest of the 10th Judicial District. Here’s to another successful 20 years.

Published in Bradley News Weekly.

Tased!

2008-11-19T08:55:00.002-05:00

Tasing. An electric shock that debilitates men, women and an occasional dog of all sizes, giving law enforcement officials the opportunity to get out-of-control people under control in just a few seconds. It’s also one of the tools of the trade that seems to garner media attention every time it’s used. Hop online and videos of people getting tased are all over the place. Most of them are for shock value, encouraging communities to show outrage. But are they really all that bad?

“With a taser, the goal is control—not punishment,” explained Lt. Tim Winder of the Cleveland Police Department.

Tased: Optional
By using the X-26 taser, the electric current lasts no more than five seconds. In order to give a longer shock, the officer must hit the trigger a second time. So there is no possibility of accidentally tasing someone for prolonged periods. To make use of a taser even safer, today’s tasers have computer memories. Every time a taser is fired, the taser logs the date, time and duration of the tase. If someone complains of being tased by an officer for prolonged periods, a supervisor can plug the taser into a computer and check when the officer’s taser was shot and for how long.

In order to help officers use their tasers only when necessary and with control, officers have the opportunity to get tased. According to Lt. Winder, approximately 50 percent of CPD officers go for it. Lt. Winder said getting tased helps officers understand the pain that a taser puts suspects through. New recruit Roger Smith, a 20-year Army veteran who decided to be tased, agreed.

“The way I see it, if I’ve got to carry it and administer it—something non-lethal—I want to see what it feels like to me,” he said. “I want to see if it truly immobilizes the muscles and what it does to the body.”

Tased: Bring It
Following a lengthy Power Point presentation on the mechanics and proper use of tasers, Smith stood up and walked to the front of the training room at the Police Services Center. He has experienced pain in the military, but suspected he’d not suffered anything like the pain of getting hit by a taser. Though he initially wanted to get hit for one second, Smith beefed it up to the full five when a handful of officers came to the room to watch.

While Lt. Winder placed a couple of alligator clips on Smith’s clothes, the attending officers chatted and smiled at each other. They all knew what Smith was about to find out. With an officer on either side of Smith to keep him from falling, it was time for the tase.

“You ready, Roger?” Lt. Winder asked, taser in hand.

“Bring it.”

Suddenly, the tase began. The taser sounded like an entire city of people jumping rapid fire on bubble wrap. But the sound of Smith overpowered the taser. It was a single sound—a moan that lasted two seconds before breaking. Then it picked up at a higher pitch for two short spurts.

After five seconds, Smith’s eyes were popping out of his head.

“Sweet Jesus!” he screamed.

“The man took it,” someone laughed, “and didn’t go down.”

Someone else encouraged him to do it again.

“That’s powerful,” Smith said. “That’s something else!”

A moment after being tased, Smith said he had no effects. He could even hear everyone around him and was aware of his surroundings during the tase. He had no tingling anywhere, but did remember the pain.

“It just locks you up and it’s painful, but there’s nothing you can do. You can’t stop the pain,” Smith said. “It just keeps coming and coming.”

That’s why few opt for a second voluntary tase. It’s also why it’s such a great tool for law enforcement when dealing with unruly suspects.

Published in Bradley News Weekly.

Contact

2008-11-19T08:51:00.000-05:00

Questions, comments, and requests for service should be directed to daniel@danielkbrantley.com.

About Daniel K. Brantley

2008-11-19T08:44:00.003-05:00

As a full-time writer since 2002, I've brainstormed story ideas, performed research, conducted interviews, and had thousands of articles published in newspapers, newsletters, and magazines across the country. I've talked to world-class athletes, physicians, CEOs, politicians, and artists. I'm accustomed to staying up on the times, writing articles that are engaging and useful, and doing the legwork to track down interviews to give each story the weight it deserves.

My goal is to build and maintain long-term relationships with individuals and companies needing quality work in a timely manner, and I look forward to working with you soon.

Areas of Expertise: Medicine, arts, human interest, outdoors

Freelance Clients: Seattle Sound, Chattanoogan.com, Southeast Performer, Bristol Herald-Courier, Oxford Town, Relevant, Lurlene McDaniel, Shades of Grey Photography, ForTheSound.com, Coy, Jack Harlan, Hadrosaur Tales, The Penwood Review, FitPro

I'm Back!

2008-11-18T08:57:00.002-05:00

Well, it's been a while, but I'm back to blogging. No, I didn't have any great impact the first, second, or third times around, but I'm back nonetheless. If nothing else, this will give me opportunity to write whatever I want to write whenever I want to write it.

No pressure, all pleasure.

Anyway, for those keeping track, things have been loco in Cleveland, Tennessee, my new homeland. New job, now an old job...and these circumstances have really opened my eyes to God's provisions.

Speaking of God, we're growing to love our new church. But don't let this fool you. We miss the folks at Cornerstone greatly. And while there are those who travel as far as we would have to travel to stay at Cornerstone, we're called here. There's just something great about being able to play racquetball with guys you go to church with without driving 45 minutes.

Anyway, I may post some writing warm-ups here in the coming weeks. I'd love to do one every day, but I doubt that's going to happen. So for today, this was my writing warm-up.

That said, time to get back to work.

How Do You Stream Video Live Online?

2008-05-20T11:46:00.001-05:00

So i've got a question. i need to find a reliable program that allows me to stream live video online. i've tried out two different free services (ustream and justin.tv) and while both work occasionally, i need something that doesn't mess up.

if anyone out there has suggestion for a program - whether it's free or not - i'd love to hear it.

thanks...

2007-12-14T14:32:00.002-05:00

So, My Brother's in This Band...

2007-09-20T10:55:00.001-05:00

And it's pretty freaking awesome. They're Gone City, and they made me believe in music again. It's raw, full of energy, and has some great songwriting.

Check them out at gonecity.com today or jump on the bandwagon in five years. Whatever you prefer.

I Tried Not to Post This...

2007-09-18T13:16:00.000-05:00

But I can't help myself. I am head over heels for this band, and there's nothing that can stop this relationship. So without further ado, yet another King's X video for your face. This one has pretty good audio, etc...and the song is insanely awesomisity.

The Cage of Freedom

2007-09-17T15:22:00.000-05:00

I'm so stoked. A friend from work gave me a cage, as I get to have a bird in my office at my new job (at the Bradley News Weekly). I can't believe I get to have a feathered friend by my side day in and day out. It's gonna rock and roll! And I think I've already gotten my hands on a sports writer. God is good.

Again, the cage is so exciting for me. The thing is HUGE! And it's all for one little parakeet. Wowzers...that's gonna be one stoked bird. Not that he'll be in the cage all the much, but it's uber roomy.

House Price Reduced

2007-09-17T08:35:00.000-05:00

Well,

Now that we know where we have to move, we're ready to make it happen. So...we reduced the price of our house a bit. It's not $119,000. If interested, visit http://200newberry.blogspot.com

Toodles,

Daniel

Few Awesome Things about My New Job

2007-09-10T14:25:00.000-05:00

1. i set my own hours
2. i get to bring my bird to the office
3. the office is a house
4. there is a johnny jumper and a pack -n- play in the office
5. as i set my own hours, i also get flex time (go in early, leave early, need to stay late, go in late, etc...)
6. i'll be making a difference and having a lot o' fun
7. it reminded me of my need to rely on God

Goodbye, True North

2007-09-07T13:47:00.000-05:00

Well,

After five years of learning and writing for True North, it's time to move on. My final day will be Friday September 21.

Leaving a job is never easy, but it's comforting to know that God is in control.

Seconding what another poster said--SMOKE-FREE in October!

2007-08-09T11:28:00.000-05:00

this is so great. eating out w/out smelling like smoke? rocking out w/out smelling like smoke? what a wonderful thing--to be able to go places and not have to take a shower before going to bed. read more here:

http://www.smokefreetn.org/smokefreelaw.htm

in other news, the house is still for sell, though, Lord willing, that will be changing first thing next week. so if you still want to get a chance at owning the best house you may ever step foot in, flip over to http://200newberry.blogspot.com

later tater

Our House Is for Sale

2007-08-02T12:34:00.000-05:00

That's right--our adorable Red Bank bungalo is up for sale. If interested in a 3 BR/1 BA house with lots of updates that you can just move into and start living, check it out at http://200newberry.blogspot.com

Cheers,

Daniel

I Should Maybe Move On

2007-07-11T09:53:00.000-05:00

But I can't. King's X still does it for me.

Thank you Woodstock.

Heading to the Great Outdoors

2007-07-03T09:20:00.001-05:00

I'm taking my eldest daughter camping tonight...in our yard. She is so stinking excited, and in her joy declared me (once again) the best daddy ever.

Ahhhhhh....

Hopping on the Next Research Project

2007-06-22T10:17:00.000-05:00

Well, I got an e-mail from someone yesterday wanting me to do more research, and I agreed for 2 reasons:

1. It's a person I respect, like, and love gleaning knowledge from.
2. The subject matter is intriguing.

Though I can't divulge what the research is about, I will tell you that it is an eerie, hot topic. No, not Hot Topic. Just hot topic.

I'll fill you in by mid-2009, when it's in bookstores.

Until then,

Carry on My Wayward Son. And yes, I can rock the crap out of that song on Guitar Hero--MEDIUM STYLE!

News Flash

2007-06-12T14:45:00.000-05:00

I need a vacation.

Something like this would be nice...

So if you have a time share you'd like to let me get in on, holla!

Videorama--10 Years Later

2007-06-06T11:56:00.001-05:00

YouTube will never be the same.

Yes, King, you're making your YouTube debut. Congrats. To the others who made it, sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=earcandycritic

More 10-Year Pics, Sans Comments--and I figured out how to put more than 5 on a post!!!!

2007-06-06T11:29:00.000-05:00

10-Year Photos, No Drama

2007-06-06T11:26:00.001-05:00

More 10-Year Pics, For Mason

2007-06-04T12:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, Mason, you win. With such a graceful and fun update on your life story, how could I do anything but oblige your request for more pictures. Without further ado, I bring you...

this...

this...

oh yeah, and this...

and who could forget this...

of course, it wouldn't be complete without this...

So there you have it, a few more pics. Don't worry, more will up later. And if you're keeping tabs, I'm posting them according to how they pop up in the list of pictures I took, and I'm trying to only put ones up that A) don't have the person shoving a piece of chicken in his/her mouth and B) are bright enought to make out who/what is in the picture.

Enjoy...and I'll try to think of another trivia question, since you all seem so trivial.

10 Year Pics

2007-06-04T08:57:00.000-05:00

So no one has ventured a guess on Q #2, so I'm not giving satisfaction of an answer.

But I will toss some more photos on here for your viewing pleasure.

Answer to Question 1 and Question 2--10 Years Later

2007-05-31T08:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay...bad news. Unfortunately, the person who was the answer begged for me to kill it so no one will ever know who he/she is. Talking about a typical, hermity author-type person.

Sorry to disappoint....

Now to QUESTION 2!!!

Ummmm...how about...uhhh...Who has gone through three interviews at the company where I work to become a publisher?

I'll give a day on this one--well, maybe more, depending on how many other questions I can come up with.

And almost forgot--random pictures...

Question 1--10 Years Later

2007-05-30T09:33:00.000-05:00

Who has written four books and a play or two (I believe it was a play--maybe a movie script)?

Almost Forgot--the Reunion

2007-05-30T08:38:00.000-05:00

went to my high school reunion on saturday. once i burn a disc of pics, i'll be slapping them up here. definitely a better experience than i expected. decent turn out, lots of laughs.

as you were

Sunny Day Real Estate Video

2007-05-30T08:33:00.000-05:00

I feel the need to keep this thing alive, so...

Thanks, Gov. Bredesen

2007-05-21T08:20:00.000-05:00

This just in: Gov. Bredesen has proposed a 1--count it--ONE percent pay raise for TN school teachers. No wonder so many TN teachers run for the border. And it's such a shame, after all his big talk, that it comes down to one percent, which just happens to be 2.5 percent less than the rising cost of living.

Again, thank you so much.

So...if you want to give Bredesen some mad props, e-mail him at phil.bredesen@state.tn.us

I'm sure he'd be glad to hear your thoughts.

Picture of the Girls

2007-05-15T15:45:00.000-05:00

For those wanting a more intimate look into my life, here is a picture of my two daughters. Enjoy...

Helping Teachers Wipe the Offal from Their Brows

2007-05-14T16:22:00.000-05:00

Saw this on the Chattanoogan.com:

http://chattanoogan.com/articles/article_107248.asp

Hopefully they'll make the changes they're recommending, because right now, the state poops on teachers.

Full text:

TEA President Wiman Questions Who Will Teach In Tennessee
posted May 13, 2007

“Who will teach in Tennessee,” Dr. Earl H. Wiman, president of the Tennessee Education Association (TEA), asked the approximately 1,000 teachers and education support personnel serving as delegates to the annual Representative Assembly over the weekend at the Nashville Convention Center.

He said, “In Tennessee at this very moment six thousand teachers are eligible for retirement and another six thousand teachers will be eligible within the next five years.

“Without competitive teacher salaries, without competitive fringe benefits, with the lowest teacher retirement benefit of any southeastern state, who will teach in Tennessee? Almost fifty percent of Tennessee’s teacher graduates never teach in this state. Our school systems lose half of our newly hired teachers within their first five years.

“Tennessee continues to ‘bleed’ teachers across our borders to states with more competitive salaries and better benefits."

He told the story of a group of Memphis teachers who retired from Tennessee and then started teaching in Nevada in order to work the necessary years to retire there. He said this was the only way the teachers could support themselves in retirement because the Tennessee benefit was not enough alone.

The president challenged delegates to “testify” to elected officials and called a brief recess so that delegates could call state senators and state representatives from the floor of the assembly. Delegates asked their representatives to support at least a 40¢ per package cigarette tax increase and the funding formula changes proposed last week by the governor.

The Representative Assembly is TEA's highest governing body and is made up of delegate-members elected by teachers and education support professionals in every local school system in the state.

In other business, delegates elected several new officers, bestowed honors on outstanding educators and citizens set the organization's budget and legislative priorities for the upcoming year, and adopted resolutions and business items introduced by delegates.

Among the resolutions, delegates affirmed support for the use of alternative, appropriate assessments to accurately measure the academic success of students with special needs. They also affirmed TEA’s support for higher graduation standards, but strongly cautioned against rushing to “redesign” without an implementation timeline that recognizes the complexity of redesigning high school curriculum.

Delegates also strongly called for adequate instructional support — including adequate staffing, ongoing professional development with both pre-service and in-service training, additional collaborative planning time, strict adherence to planning time and duty free lunch periods, and revamping of the state’s “Caseload and Class Size Policy” — for all teachers charged with teaching special needs children through the practice of “inclusion” of these children in the regular classroom.

Delegates also revised the guiding principles and parameters for negotiating salary additions sometimes called alternative or diversified pay plans.

In new business, delegates took action to call for a 6% salary increase out of additional state revenues instead of the currently proposed 3%. They voted to push for revision of applicable Tennessee statutes to extend provision of duty-free lunch, planning time, and class size requirements to Pre-K teachers who are currently being denied these professional necessities in many school systems.

Delegates soundly approved the elimination of Tennessee’s Value Added Assessment System (TVAAS) due to continued misuse of the data that leads to false conclusions concerning teachers and schools. Delegates also called for release of test items once tests are scored in order for teachers and other education support professionals to know what specific skills and knowledge individual students have not mastered.

Delegates also called for an immediate end to the use of teacher Social Security numbers to track the records of students since the writing assessment currently requires the teacher’s Social Security number to be included as part of the tests that have later been processed by prisoners incarcerated in Tennessee prisons.

Elected to the TEA Board of Directors were Kimberly Waller of Knox County, Allen Nichols of Rutherford County, Amanda Fields of Robertson County, LaVerne Dickerson of Memphis, Charles New of Memphis, Julia Nicholson of Clarksville-Montgomery County, Barbara Gray of Shelby County, Marilda Smith of Robertson County, and Sarah Kennedy-Harper of Memphis.

Paula Brown of Knox County was re-elected to the National Education Association (NEA) Board of Directors.

Elected to the Tennessee Political Action Committee for Education (T-PACE) Executive Board were Sherry Morgan of Knox County, Marjorie Rios of Putnam County, Lise Triggs of Murfreesboro City, Daryl Brindley of Giles County, Christine Denton of Clarksville-Montgomery County, Patty Hester and Harold Smith of Memphis.

Clark Justis of Greene County was elected as a member of the Local Education Insurance Committee, and Traci Jefferson of Hamblen County was elected as a member of the Board of Trustees for the Tennessee Consolidated Retirement System.

Losing It

2007-05-07T12:18:00.000-05:00

I can't believe what is going through my head right now. Maybe I'll let you all know in the coming months, if I take action on it. Otherwise, it's in my head...where it is somewhat safe.

From the Chattanoogan.com: Quit Doing Your Job!

2007-05-03T09:30:00.000-05:00

One for the books--someone feels it's not right for meter maids to do their jobs. At least not on prom night. I mean, there are KIDS out there, and the LAST thing they need to learn is responsibility!

Anyway, this opinion piece is hilarious. Though I'm sure it would have had a different slant if the "author" wanted a parking space that was taken by someone with a meter that was run out and no meter maid was around to write a ticket. I can imagine it now: "Thank you, meter maid, for seeing how frustrating this problem is."

Diagnosis: We don't want people to do their jobs. I saw the same meter maid problem by some guy who ran into Starbucks downtown a few months ago. He came out and a lady was writing him a ticket. "Oh, come on!" he yelled. "I was just inside for a few minutes!" Guess what, pal, you don't pay to park, you PAY to park. It's her job.

I also got to experience this at Babies R Us a few years back. I just needed to buy something for my oldest daughter. While in the line, some lady was having a hissy fit with the cashier. "I'm on the news! You know who I am!" Her problem was that she wanted to write a check but had no photo ID, which is required at that store. The cashier was doing her job. The cashier even called her manager to see if they could let her off--nope. And that news lady (I have no idea who she was--an African-American with an infant at the time) had the nerve to tell the cashier that she was going to put something on the news about it. GIVE ME A BREAK. What would she say? "Local cashier followed company policy on Tuesday evening." Sounds like something off the Onion.

Neil Young and Pearl Jam Changed My Life

2007-04-27T14:03:00.000-05:00

I don't know how many of you remember when this happened live. For me, it was pure magic. I think it was for some awards show on MTV or something, but whatever it was...it was and still is incredible.

How Do I Put Music Here?

2007-04-25T08:43:00.000-05:00

I was wanting to upload a song and have it sit inside a single blog post. Is this possible? If so, how? If I have to get some program to do it, what is recommended?

I've been writing lies, and you may have believed them

2007-04-16T13:50:00.000-05:00

Just got back from the NIH (national institutes of health) conference, "media in the marketing," and my eyes have been greatly opened--to say the least.

i'm slightly appalled at the misinformation I've been given and have passed on to consumers as a healthcare writer over the past five years. now i just have to figure out how to right those wrongs. i mean, it's not like anyone necessarily meant to give misinformation (some do, obviously--to sell a product), but we the people don't know what that information means. so we translate it into what we can understand, which is...wrong. sometimes incredibly wrong.

and while some of the stuff i heard sounds like propoganda (especially when i relay it to others), it's coming from the nih. they're THE experts. and they're admitting they've had involvement in the issue, and they're trying to right it by equipping journalists with knowledge.

and some of the stuff i learned will BLOW YOUR MIND.

i'll write more later...gotta keep working, and my brain is still swirling.

There are so many bands; and the snake the cross the crown is worth your listen

2007-04-03T15:54:00.000-05:00

every time i go to a show or get on purevolume or talk to people about music, i'm reminded about the insane amount of bands out there. it's literally impossible to hear and enjoy all of them.

so i stick to my guns.

that said, i met a guy in a band called the snake the cross the crown. very cool guy, dating my wife's cousin, which i guess is my cousin-in-law.

anyway...i think those guys may become one of my new guns.

bang bang

Missing The Prayer Chain

2007-03-26T08:59:00.002-05:00

Never Enough

More Than a Feeling

2007-03-22T15:52:00.000-05:00

The Wisdom of Children Breaks My Heart

2007-03-16T12:01:00.001-05:00

i just talked to my wife and she told me a very sweet and powerful story about our 3.5-year-old daughter.

you see, there is a fellow we know who has decided to ignore God for a season and indulge in the delights of the world. as a result, his life has progressively sucked more with each passing day. friends of this guy would say he's happy as a lark, but he's confided how miserable he is. and he says he wants to return to God, but just hasn't yet.

my wife and i pray for this guy on a regular basis, and encourage our daughter to do the same. almost every time our daughter prays, she begs God to help this guy love God again.

as if that weren't heart breaking enough.

today's story, the one that this whole thing is focused on, is a short conversation...

daughter: is our wandering friend hiding from God?
wife: what do you mean?
daughter? umm...like joseph.
wife: no, not joseph.
daughter: oh, i mean jonah.
wife: yes. like jonah.

my wife then went on to cry a bit at the wisdom that is gleaned through the eyes of a child, and the comfort of knowing our daughter loves the Lord at such a young age.

God is good...

Exercise Like a Working Man

2007-03-08T10:19:00.001-05:00

so i decided it was time to finally start exercising again. it sucks b/c it's not called exercise instead of playing basketball, skating, or just running around.

anyway, i'm stuck in an office all day and don't have much time at night or in the mornings to exercise (2 kids make sure my time is spent with them). therefore, i have to figure out a way to do it on my own. so...i finally figured out how to set the hourly beep chime thing on my sweet $10 wal-mart watch. every time it beeps (on the hour), i get out of my chair and do some push-ups

or sit-ups,

or a wall sit,

or some jumping jacks,

or something else physical that doesn't require equipment or time.

it's made me feel better, look better (i actually bulk up pretty fast--yeah, i'm rad like that), and work better. it's also reassuring knowing those tiny breaks are keeping me from getting carpal tunnel.

if you're stuck in an office w/ someone else or just have a cubicle, i don't really have a solution. sorry.

You Don't Know Nothing Till You Know Free Running

2007-03-06T15:06:00.000-05:00

This is easily the craziest, coolest thing on the market right now. If anyone's interested in doing some of this, I'm in. And don't just watch the intro to the video--give it 3 or 4 minutes before cutting out. It gets crazy once he starts climbing inside and outside of buildings.

Drowning and Thankful

2007-03-05T11:56:00.000-05:00

My wife grew up in an artistic family. While simple in structure, that short sentence is loaded with meaning.

1. She loves art.
2. She has some artistic leanings.
3. She's used to living in a constant flux of financial security and insecurity.

That said, she's my perfect wife. While I have a full-time, professional job, it's not enough to live on. I mean, we never go out to eat (okay, maybe once a month) and though we have two kids, we've only paid for a babysitter once--maybe twice in the past 3.5 years. Neither of us care much about movies, so we rent one or possibly two a month. Basically, we get this many just to get our free monthly rental from Blockbuster that can only be had if you rent one a month.

All this is to say that despite the inability to live on a single income, God has been more than gracious with us. We've never not been able to eat (though groceries have put us in the hole many a time), our mortgage is always miraculously paid, and new business opportunities are constantly popping up. For instance, my neighbor needs me to renovate an apartment behind his house. I agreed to do small projects, but I've got so much freelance work right now I haven't had the time to even start. And wife and wife's sister have a wedding flower business that is picking up steam, whether they're ready for it or not. They do great work, so it was only a matter of time.

Now I just have to figure out how to wrap up these posts...or does it really matter? It's my little online diary, so I guess I can close however I want, even if it includes stopping mid-sente

The Best Place for Wedding, Maternity, and Child Photography

2007-03-02T10:33:00.001-05:00

I know, I'm usually on here to pimp myself. Well, I was just thinking of a good friend of mine and the superb photography services he provides people who are getting hitched, having kids, and living life with kids, so I thought I'd pass the word on to you kind folks about his good work.

Please note: his photographs aren't typically shot in a studio (some exceptions apply--like those cute baby bottoms), so if you want a sweet laser show in the background of your photos, you may have to go elsewhere. However, he gives an awesome product and is laid back and easy to work with.

Without further ado, I present to you Shades of Grey Photography: www.shadesofgreyphotography.net

You can also hit them up on the link over on the right (yes, I'm that thoughtful).

If you contact Rob to learn more, be sure to tell him Daniel sent you his way.

Now if I can just sucker...I mean convince him to give me a cut in his earnings. Hmmmmm...

Going to D.C.

2007-02-27T11:27:00.000-05:00

I am honored to announce I've been chosen to go to a conference for the NIH (National Institutes of Health) in mid-April. It takes place right outside of D.C., and I have been trying to figure out if I know anyone who lives there.

If you live in D.C. or know someone who lives in D.C. and knows me, drop me a line. While I won't have a lot of time to tinker around (conference runs from 8:30 am to 9 p.m. both nights), I'd love to do some late-night running around. Hit me up at daniel.brantley@yahoo.com to hook it up...

Skottie Young Story Finally Published

2007-02-22T13:47:00.000-05:00

So I've got an old friend, Skottie Young, who is an artist. As in "draws, inks, and colors for Marvel Comics" artist. Well, after working for about three months to get him on the phone, I finally did in...I think July or August 2006. I then spent the next week or so figuring out what the story should be, and then finally sent it to a paper in Bristol, TN/VA.

Well, they dug the story and wanted to run it. They just had to wait for the right time. After months of waiting, the time has finally come, and I'm pretty pleased with the outcome. To be honest, I didn't know newspapers could do stuff like use blue font, but hey, more power to them. Glad to see such things are possible.

Anyway, I'm having an egomaniacal moment and wanted to share. Because of this encounter with my old friend, I've regained interest in the world of comics. For those out there who doubt the power of comics or think they're childish, etc., I challenge you to pick up one and read. Or just get one to look at the art. It's pretty amazing stuff.

Ah, crap. Just realized you can't read it now. Sorry about that. If interested in reading it, put a note here and I'll cut, paste, and rearrange it so you can. Otherwise, just enjoy the visual beauty of it all.

Cigarette Taxes on the Way

2007-02-20T15:28:00.000-05:00

As you all know, I love the Chattanoogan.com--particularly the opinion column/message board. This article was really great. It starts with a plea from Gov. Bredsen asking for support of a 40-cent tax increase and ends with two adults (I imagine they're adults) trying to show the Gov. how easily he'll be outsmarted.

"Go ahead with your silly tax increase," they say, "and I'll find other ways to buy them (or build them) for cheaper!"

When it's all said and done, I suppose Bredsen should be the big loser. Unfortunately, after a bit of research (okay, it's my job to write health stuff every single day), I found out the following:

Smoking cigarettes is the number one cause of PREVENTABLE death in America (http://www.cdc.gov/MMWR/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5114a2.htm).

"In California, decreases in smoking prevalence have resulted in reduced lung cancer and heart disease death rates" (same article)

Smoking causes lung cancer, emphesema, heart disease, stroke, diabetes complications, kidney problems, impotence, bad breath, smelly aura, birth defects (if a pregnant woman smokes), worsened asthma, and the insatiable desire to ride a horse and wear a cowboy hat.

Well, enough of my blabbering, and on with the article!

FROM THE CHATTANOOGAN.COM

Gov. Bredesen: Support The 40-Cent Cigarette Tax Hike - And Reply
posted February 17, 2007

Earlier this week, I stood before the General Assembly for a fifth time as Governor to deliver my State of the State address. My message Monday night was about educating our children - the most fundamental responsibility of state government. At its heart, my proposal challenges each of us - from the student to the teacher to the school to the state - to do things differently in four important ways. We must:

Ensure our children are ready to learn; that they're healthy, that they are intellectually and socially prepared to be in the classroom.
Raise standards and expectations, not just for the college-bound, but for everyone.

Fund education properly and make sure the money goes where it makes a difference - in the classroom itself.
Make college more accessible and affordable.

To make these improvements a reality, I am calling for a 40-cent increase in the cigarette tax - a plan that will raise $219 million annually. The argument for a cigarette tax is straightforward: Our schools need more money.

Already, we have received an enormous amount of positive feedback from folks on both sides of the political aisle and from all areas of the state. But big tobacco companies are already coming out in force against this plan, threatening to do everything in their power to stand in the way of anything that hurts their bottom line - we can't let this happen.

We all talk the talk about improving public education; now we need to walk the walk as well. Our cigarette tax is among the lowest in the nation, and even after such an increase, we will still be well below the national average.

Now, I need your help. Tennessee children need your help. Please contact your legislator and let them know you support our plan to improve education in our state - that you support an increase in the cigarette tax. Urge them to support it, too.

It's an honor to serve as governor of this great state, and I look forward to working with you on this and other important issues in the future.

Warmest Regards,

Phil Bredesen

* * *

Dear Governor,

Go ahead and increase taxes on cigarettes. I'll just start buying them on the Internet as will a large number of other smokers.

Ike Conn
Hixson
ikeconn@yahoo.com

* * *

If tobacco taxes increase, causing the price of cigarettes to go up, I’ll probably still smoke the same amount that I do now. If I start to get really stressed out then I’m going to want a cigarette.

But I’m lucky; it’s never been a problem for me to stop. Some of my friends go through a pack a day and will feel the effect of the price increase.

One of my friends was already noticing how quickly he was losing his money, so he decided that instead of buying a pack a day he would buy cigarette tobacco and roll his own cigarettes. This not only helped him spend less money per cigarette, but the more potent cigarettes allowed him to smoke less than before.

Michael Galik
Cookeville

On Christian Tattoos

2007-02-20T12:34:00.000-05:00

As a teenage rocker, I fully expected to be a tattoo monkey. Every day, my arms were covered in flames, words, etc… Now, I’m pushing 28, and getting the first one seems a bit trite.

Honestly, I can say I’m glad to have skipped the tattoo train. Though it looks like quite a fun train to ride, it irks me. Why? Because it lets people wear their hearts on their sleeves—er, skin. With a tattoo, there is no longer the need to start a conversation to learn that someone loves basketball. The orange ball stuck on his arm proves it. And that cross bursting through the ball shows he loves Christian basketball. [No comment]

“Sure,” you say, “some people screw it up. I use these tattoos to open the door to conversation.”

Well, maybe you do. Unfortunately, most people (in my experience) use tattoos as a hypocritical bus pass. I mean, who needs to go to church, read the Bible, or attempt to honor God in daily life when Christian images are tattooed from head to foot? No one—right?

On top of that, these things look AWESOME!

Dude, check out the new tat that Mark got—it only cost $120, and it says Jesus. Isn’t that font cool? Mark really knows how to choose tattoos wisely, and he's such a good Christian! Oh, the pain and foolishness of pride. If salvation is as simple as marking yourself with permanent ink, what was the purpose of Christ’s work?

To save the foolish and proud, such as my uninked self.

Looking for a Scanner

2007-02-14T13:40:00.000-05:00

if anyone out there has a scanner not in use, i'll give it a good home. i don't really have much cash to drop on it and would prefer a freebie, but i understand the need to make some cash. shoot me a line at daniel.brantley@yahoo.com and we'll discuss. i'll do trade, also, as i have some things lying around the house you may be interested in picking up.

Another Satisfying Trip to Chad's

2007-02-13T15:27:00.000-05:00

it's been a while since i've said anything about my slowly growing record collection, but i think you'll be glad to know i've not let up on trading in cds for lps. today, i had a couple discs to trade in (one is particularly rad--called kiss kiss...chaotic "symphony" rock?). so i used that trade in and some more i had gathered up to get 3 records. one is a double disc of sam cooke. basically has all his big hits.

next up is an album i just learned aretha recorded when she was 14. hopefully that doesn't mean it sucks. but it's her singing gospel. i can't imagine there would be anything wrong with it, but 14 is pretty young. then again, consider 14-year-old michael jackson. BOOYAH!

and finally, i picked up an album especially for my valentine. thankfully she doesn't read this. in fact, she probably doesn't know where to find this blog. but that's good because she'll love her new record, especially since it's a big surprise.

My First King's X Show

2007-02-12T11:05:00.000-05:00

Found this pic from back in the day on a friend's blog. What a night...

Best. Movie. Ever

2007-02-06T10:58:00.000-05:00

got this for review, and there is no reason every person in america shouldn't approach their local movie theater to show this when it releases. for us chattanooga folks, that would be the bijou--i believe that's the only place that runs films like this.

so drop the bijou people a line and make sure they've got it coming.

www.airguitarnation.com

and check the trailer. incredible.

in the meantime, i'll probably be watching this over and over for the next few weeks, so if i don't answer my phone you'll know why.

Me Vs. the World

2007-02-05T16:26:00.000-05:00

I'm often troubled with the content of my blog. I realize few will scan its contents, but the few who do--would they rather read about me and my thoughts or should this just be a link to happenings around me and the world in general?

On one hand, this is basically a glorified diary.

On the other, who knows who is going to read this stuff, so it may be safest to be gentle with what I put on here to avoid controversy.

On the other hand, I've been born with 3 hands.

Best Web Site Ever: theused.net

2007-02-01T07:54:00.000-05:00

it's rad. i didn't tool around on it a lot, and i don't know any of their music, but they've got something special in that web site.

Why You Should Google Yourself

2007-01-31T12:50:00.000-05:00

So I was looking for some samples to toss around to get some more freelance work and decided to just Google my name and see what came up. I was surprised to find part of a review I did on a folk group's (Wild Carrot) press packet one sheet. I was so surprised that I posted it here for posterity. Yes, it's only a couple sentences, but it almost makes me sound like I know what I'm doing.

If interested, it's on the left column about halfway down.

Well, should have kept on looking at links. I ended up on a Hearing Loss web site for a review I did of the beautiful film, Touch the Sound. You can head to the link if interested: http://www.4hearingloss.com/archives/2006/03/touch_the_sound_1.html

Want Groceries? Go to Atlanta!

2007-01-30T09:45:00.000-05:00

This thing is just silly. I don't get it. Is a grocery store that great a symbol of progress?

Enjoy the read, and tell me--am I the moron here?

Publix is LIFE

2007-01-29T14:45:00.000-05:00

As many others, I enjoy hopping on the Chattanoogan.com to check out the local haps, and I send in an occassional music review. What I really dig about it is that, while an official paper, it is often used almost as a message board. That allows people to hear all about different people's perspectives on important issues like kudzu-eating goats and the like.

Today, I hopped on there and scanned an "article"--more of a letter--from a concerned citizen who feels Bi-Lo is barbaric and Publix is for the educated elite who will pay extra just for improved selection and whatnot. No problem. Seen this kind of post numerous times. What is a problem is that the American people don't know how to use the English language.

See Exhibit A:

That's right. This fellow a. doesn't know the difference between then and than or b. doesn't know how to use the delete key on his keyboard. Either way, this drives me insane. I mean, I make mistakes, too, but even I get this kind of silliness correct.

Once I caught that mistake, I found myself feeling rather elite. "Where you get your grocery really matters," I thought to myself. "NOT! Crap--if it eats, digests, and leaves my system, I'm golden. Who cares if the aisles were dusty where I picked the package off the shelf?"

And I think I'm justified in my superiority.

hahahahaha

Just Documenting

2007-01-29T13:34:00.000-05:00

Don't mind this post. I found a book review I did a while ago that I thought was lost, so I figured I'd toss it here for safe keeping. Now I just have to go through it and see if it's any good.

"But He's Not Wearing Any Clothes!"

2007-01-25T10:18:00.001-05:00

It's fairly uncommon for me to give a negative review to anything, but I couldn't help it on Half-Cocked. As you'll see in the screen-shot review to the right, I tried to like it. I mean, some of it was cool, but overall I was bored.

While watching it, I felt a bit like the little boy watching the emperor prance around in his "new clothes." After all, the film is deemed a "cult classic," though I'm not sure who gave it that label. So whereas it would appear the world is in love with Half-Cocked, I stood there and screamed "But it's not wearing any clothes! And it's boring!"

Maybe I'm a nimwit, though...

Blogging for choice?

2007-01-23T09:16:00.000-05:00

So I came across some blogs about "choice" this morning. I don't know if today is "blog-for-choice" day or yesterday, but it got my attention. particularly the grub street plumber on chattablogs.com. had some very disturbing images.

my question is this:

how many pro-choicers have been directly affected by abortion (choice)? in other words, how many people who say a woman should be able to hump everything that moves and have no responsibility for what forms inside of her as a result have actually a. had an abortion, b. had a parent who had an abortion, or c. had a friend or other loved one who had an abortion?

i'll stick with b. and let me tell you, it's not all peaches and cream "i got off easy on that one"! It hurts...and that was over 30 years ago.

God help us

Seeking Advice on Selling Home By Owner

2007-01-18T11:51:00.000-05:00

Hello comrades,

I write to you in great need. My wife and I are considering selling the house and moving, and we need your help. If any of you have ever sold a house by owner, I'd love to know the steps that have to be taken.

You know...the unobvious and the obvious. I know to put a for sale sign in the yard and to touch up paint, etc...

But what about paper work? Do I need to have a contract first? Do I need to have it appraised, etc??? Have any recommendations for people we should use to do these things?

You are all wonderful. And as a reward for considering this, you are treated to pictures of my brother's moustache and another picture from the 2nd annual brantley brother's backpacking extravaganza in november '06!
Thanks much,
Daniel

p.s. picked up a copy of man or astroman's destroy all astromen yesterday. great stuff. it's interesting b/c i thought the cd i had of theirs was all b-side stuff, but the first track of the record i picked up yesterday is on the cd what remains inside a black hole.

very interesting...

The First Record Choices at Chad's

2007-01-16T12:35:00.000-05:00

Okie dokie, as you may know by now, I got a record player, and after many trials and tribulations, the thing is finally powered up and pumping out music...as of last night, it's as loud as any other music-playing device I have. And to celebrate, I listened to the Beatles white album as I sifted through my CDs, found 11 I didn't want, and tossed them in a plastic bag.

Today, I took said discs to Chad's, and to my delight, I got $52 of credit. $52! You can't get that kind of change at McKay's with 111 CDs! Needless to say, I was stoked, though I think I hid my excitement quite well. I then scavenged the store for what albums I needed, and found these:

The Mama's and the Papa's: If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears
I used to have their greatest hits, and this is darned near close to it, without being labeled "Greatest Hits." This will be a great listen with the family, and all the harmony parts will keep the kids singing with glee.

Ray Charles: Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music
I admit, I've hopped on the Ray Charles train. Can't help it. Growing up, his rendition of "Georgia on My Mind" was basically my grandparents' national anthem, but I never jumped into his music much myself. This album will change that, and while it's not what most deem his best work, it's the best one I could find at Chad's.

Stray Cats: Rant 'N Rave
Picking this album was difficult. I mean, it was cut in the 80s, so how important can it be to have this on vinyl? Isn't a cassette or CD good enough? Yeah, probably, but it was factory wrapped and has some solid tracks, like "18 Miles to Memphis" and "Something's Wrong with My Radio," both of which are otherwise only available on their greatest hits disc.

Willie Nelson: Red Headed Stranger
After much research, it seems this is Willie's masterpiece, and Chad was kind enough to have a couple copies of it waiting for me. My loving wife loves country, and Willie's one of the reigning kings, so I got this mainly for her, though I'm pretty stoked about it.

The Dave Brubeck Quartet: Time in Outer Space
Just like you, I learned about Dave's genius from his quartet's world-famous "Take Five." However, when I talked with him a couple weeks ago (Yes--you read right. I interviewed the legendary Dave Brubeck), he mentioned the other albums that came after Time Out (which had "Take Five" on it). Both of his quartet's next albums dealt with the theme of time and screwed with all the presuppositions that jazz deserved a 4/4 beat. I was intrigued, and now the album is mine.

Now I just have to finish my work and go home...so I can enjoy these new flavors. My listening palate is ready....

My 1st eBay Item

2007-01-15T08:50:00.000-05:00

I feel like a little kid, but I put my first item on the chopping block of eBay. It's a 3-CD bundle of Chris Young--the guy who won Nashville Star. He's got a great voice and a loyal fanbase, so I figured it was a good way to get started.

Anyway, just wanted to commemorate this occassion and show you all a small piece of our kitchen carpet.

Prince Plays Basketball

2007-01-10T09:34:00.001-05:00

I don't know how I hadn't seen this before. It's hilarious--and Prince can BALL!

In Honor of Josiah

2007-01-09T14:17:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Josiah, I now have the wisdom necessary to put videos on my BLIZOG!

With that, I present the Chattanooga Choo Choo done proper-like.

Enjoy, and thanks, Josiah.

See COY Live!

2007-01-08T16:11:00.000-05:00

Word on the street is that the show costs a meager $5 this Thursday at Rhythm and Brews. Says it starts at 8:25 on R/B web site, but you know how that is. They're played with IDE. Should be rocking. I'll be there. So grab a friend, your dancing shoes, and an insatiable appetite for COY.

check them on myspace at myspace.com/coyband

tell them daniel sent you

Looking for a Stereo Amplifier

2007-01-08T11:20:00.000-05:00

If you have a stereo amplifier sitting around doing nothing, drop me a line at daniel.brantley@yahoo.com. If you do it before 5 pm tonight (Monday Jan 8), I'll possibly buy it from you. The amp must work and be able to power up a record player using RCA inputs. It's a plus if it'll also handle my DVD/CD player.

Also, if you want to trade, I've got a Sharper Image electric scooter I'm ready to get rid of.

Hit me up if interested.

Thanks much

Most Anticipated Album of the Year

2007-01-05T10:43:00.000-05:00

For me, the only album I can think of right now that I care about in the coming year is the follow up to this:

Tha'ts right--Tiger Army's Music from Regions Beyond. Sure, the title is a bit contrived, but I'm still stoked. It's also set to come out on June 5, so if I can't get my hands on a review copy, I'll be sure to get one for my birthday a few days later.

For the unconvinced, check their makeup-laden video to Incorporeal. And I still don't know how to put video on here, so you'll have to follow this:

http://hell-cat.com/videos/player/611

Dogs Are Devils

2007-01-03T09:30:00.000-05:00

For some good entertainment, read this article:

http://chattanoogan.com/articles/article_98730.asp

The gist: no more dogs are going to be allowed at the Chattanooga Market. Seems one of them lifted a leg to provide some nourishment to some of the produce. Everyone has a solid argument why they're right and the dogs should either be allowed to stay at the Chattanooga Market or be forced to leave. Some of the best stuff in there is people getting all fiery and saying if dogs aren't allowed, human children shouldn't be either.

Example (and there are a number of people who had the same sentiments:

Now, I'm not taking a side--just stating the facts. But don't you have to have a dog to go to the dog park? Is this person really going to hit the dog park just with family members? Sorry...out-of-context remarks are often the funniest ones, though.

But at least there is some solid logic somewhere in there:

Innocent? According to Sarah McLachlan, "We are born innocent," but she doesn't say anything about dogs. I think they're guilty until proven innocent, just like the rest of us.

The real humdinger is the prick who decides to chime in with his comments that, I assume, he thinks are right on and will show the world how screwed up all of America has become. Unfortunately, he just shows how stu...well, you judge for yourself:

Good thing that guy's entire lineage was born and bred and bred and bred and inbred on sweet American soil.

Michael Jackson VS The Beatles

2007-01-02T14:06:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the battle of the centuries!!!

VS

Finally got the Denon DP-15F fixed up, so I'm ready to spin some vinyl.

But once I get home, I'll have a tough decision to make. The only two records I've got right now are Michael Jackson's Off the Wall and The Beatles White album.

So now I've got to decide which to listen to first. Big decision. And I plan to make the right one. Hopefully.

Jon Lee Is Cold

2006-12-28T14:24:00.000-05:00

Many of you probably know by now that Jon Lee is gone to Alaska. Hopefully he'll be back in a while like he promised. No matter what, it will be interesting to see how God uses his time in the artic regions. But I think his journey will end like the twothirtyeight song I put on a mix CD for him. It's the first track I put on there, and it's called "Beautiful Disease."

The clincher comes when the singer, who is talking about a guy who wants nothing more than to leave his hometown, comes to a frustrating realization:

There's a beautiful disease
In her parks and in her trees
There is everything but home beyond her borders

May Alaska be good to you, Jonathan, and may you never forget that the whole world is outside of Tennessee, but home is right here with us.

The Coptix Parrot (for sale) and My Record Player

2006-12-27T11:03:00.000-05:00

Christmas was great. I got everything I wanted...and I feel a bit sick at the stomach for it. You know, the whole "I've-got-awesome-new-house-shoes-and-a-record-player-and-there-are-starving-people" thing.

Anyway, the record player is great. Somehow my brother-in-law got one for me under a $30 limit--and managed to get me a copy of The Beatles' White album. How? Don't ask me. He's a miracle worker. The only downside is that I have to get a needle for it, but that's a-ok. Because now I'll be able to listen to...well...The Beatles AND Michael Jackson's Off the Wall, which someone got me a long time ago because I love Michael Jackson. His music anyway.

Secondly, I have a green-cheeked conure for sale. $200. He comes with his cage (cost about $180 a few years ago) and toys. He's one year old and very rad. He loves being around people and does really well just hanging out around action. I tried to bring him to work a while ago. Unfortunately, the powers that be thought it would be a bad idea. The only reason I'm finding a new home for him is because I just can't give him the attention he needs with two kids, a wife, and a record player. As I didn't have any fortune bringing him to work with me, I thought Coptix would be a great place for him. Hip, cool environment, where animals are treated like people.

Crap, they could go buy a little fake tree, toss it somewhere in the middle of a room, and he'd be content for hours on end. Need some stress release? Go chill with Flip, the world's coolest green cheeked conure. So...if any Coptix reps are interested--or if you want to welcome a wonderful, loving bird into your life, drop me a line at daniel.brantley@yahoo.com, and we'll talk business. If you've never had a bird, this is a great starter--though I will want to brief you on caring for Flip. And no, that picture is not of Flip, but it is a green-cheeked conure, and that's what Flip is too!

xbox 360 for sale

2006-12-15T09:11:00.000-05:00

So last night I hit the jackpot at the company christmas party. I guessed 587 candy pieces in a jar. There were 586. Fortunately, it wasn't like the Price Is Right where if you go over you lose. Instead, I won this thing:

Obviously, I was excited. There were just three problems.

1. I suck at video games.
2. I don't have time to get good at them.
3. I have a number of medical bills that need to get paid off.

That said, I need to move this xbox 360. It's never been opened and comes with one game--Need for Speed: Most Wanted! Sounds like fun...if you know how to play video games. Anyway, if you want it, leave me a comment here or get in touch with me somehow. They retail for $400 (I originally thought it was the system that people were getting killed over, so I was a little nervous taking it home last night. Funny how something stupid can make you paranoid). Obviously, I don't plan to get retail. However, I do know what I can get for it, so if you want to toss your line in the water to see if I'll bite, go for it.

Learn more here: http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=7457637&st=xbox+360&type=product&id=1125465187515

Merry Christmas to all...